Growth vs. Fixed Mindset

How to support different motivational styles

A few weeks ago, my daughter came home from Jiu Jitsu, frustrated that she hadn’t yet earned a stripe which would signify her hard work and commitment to the sport. We talked and when I asked her how stripes were earned, she said, “By showing up and working hard, but I have been!” I sat quietly with her and then after a moment she concluded, “But I guess all I can do is keep trying harder.” She seemed satisfied with her own response and bounced away to get a snack. When I asked her twin brother how he felt about not yet earning a stripe he replied nonchalantly, “Well I don’t get to choose who gets the stripes mom.” Ah, twins. Better yet, boy/girl twins. Since they were born, I have had a full-time front seat to nature and nurture in action. This was a comical example of where their efforts lie (at least for now). My daughter believing that she can work harder to achieve a different outcome – a clear example of a growth mindset. And my son believing that no matter what he does, his efforts don’t affect the outcome – a clear example of a fixed mindset.

These two ways of approaching conflict are notoriously pitted against one another. In fact, I even did that with the title of this article. While it’s common for someone to lean more heavily on one of those behaviors, most of us vacillate between the two. Especially as children. This is why when we see examples of fixed mindset behaviors in children we should try to intervene and lend support quickly so the child can move to a growth pattern of motivation. Fixed mindset usually equates to feeling helpless and defeated when confronted with a challenge. In contrast, growth mindset usually equates to feeling empowered and confident when confronted with a challenge. When children fall into unhealthy patterns of a fixed mindset without the support of peers or adults to help move them out of that pattern, those feeling of failure can endure. When this happens, the child can become an adult who has this same system of motivation. Why bother trying hard at work? I never get a raise anyway. Why help at home more? The load never lessens.

Starting with infancy, we can encourage a growth mindset by allowing children to experience failures and the subsequent – and critical – lessons that follow. A young baby reaches for a toy and can’t reach it. We intervene and hand them the toy. No further effort and no lesson learned (other than just waiting for someone else to fix the problem). Or we simply watch as the baby grimaces and even whimpers and tries again. And then suddenly, grabs the toy! Victory! The joy on their faces doesn’t begin to match the important neurological leap that happened under the surface. The amygdala recording this important milestone as an important event and later the baby will use this memory to try crawling, walking, and pouring liquid from a cup. Later, as an older child to read and ride a bike. And as an adult, to try a new career or learn an instrument. Encouraging children to overcome difficulty, whether it’s tying shoes or navigating a loss, is foundational in their ability to go from feeling they have no control over what happens to feeling empowered and highly motivated no matter what life brings their way.

Links to related articles/research:

https://teachingcommons.stanford.edu/teaching-guides/foundations-course-design/learning-activities/growth-mindset-and-enhanced-learning

The Origins of Children’s Growth and Fixed Mindsets: New Research and a New Proposal – Haimovitz – 2017 – Child Development – Wiley Online Library

Growth Mindset