Emotional Literacy

In both scenarios the environmental stressors are the same and in both scenarios the environment doesn’t change in the end. The only difference between the two is the response from both the teacher and subsequently, the child. In the first scenario the teacher allows her frustration to lead to her response, even though her response was a well-crafted response for the age group. The second scenario, however, demonstrates something we call emotional literacy.

Emotional literacy is the ability to synthesize your own emotions and emotional regulation as well as the knowledge of the emotions of others. In other words, you understand your feelings, your control of your feelings, and the thoughts and feelings of others in various social situations. Further, an abundance of research shows that children who display solid emotional awareness and regulation at a young age are more likely to become adults who can do the same. This grander skill is known as emotional intelligence and is linked to strong positive outcomes for adults who are skilled in this arena.

Emotional literacy and emotional intelligence are sometimes used interchangeably, but they are not quite the same. Emotional literacy is the ability to understand emotions (your own and others’), while emotional intelligence is your ability to utilize this knowledge effectively. Think of emotional literacy as a tool and emotional intelligence as the ability to use that tool when and where it is needed. As children we learn how to identify our emotions and how to regulate them through the examples of the adults around us. This is why it’s important for adults to use healthy and authentic emotional regulation in everyday life.

Children can learn how to be better regulated into adulthood by seeing the adults around them use their “tools” effectively. It won’t do children any good to simply see adults portraying happy smiles and forced cooperation all the time. They need to see healthy expressions of frustration and discouragement because negative emotions are an unavoidable part of life. We don’t want to model to children to ignore negative emotions or to forcibly turn them into positive feelings. We want to show them how to cope with negative feelings in a healthy way.

By learning about our own emotional triggers and areas for improvement we are investing in the long-term emotional wellness of future generations. We have access to this important tool, our best course of action is to learn to use it well and then pass it along.